While dating apps can absolutely lead to long-term relationships, for many people, they’re also just a fun way to pass the time, line up a date, or even find a casual hookup. Sure, some believe dating apps are just a numbers game—but no matter what someone’s looking for, we all have standards we apply when deciding who to match with.
Our profile picture serves as the (admittedly superficial) first impression in the world of dating apps. What we choose to include in our bio—our personality, humor, or interests condensed into just a few lines—can also speak volumes. And just like in real life, we all have our non-negotiables when it comes to swiping. As a college student scrolling through Tinder, I know I’d never swipe right on someone whose profile photo included their child. The same goes for wedding photos or a sonogram being the only images in their profile. (Yes, I’ve seen both.)
“It can be so easy to just look at pictures on your dating app and swipe right,” says Antonia Hall, psychologist, relationship expert, and author of The Ultimate Guide to a Multi-Orgasmic Life, in an interview with Bustle. “You’re in a flow, and they’re so attractive—what could possibly go wrong? But you’ll actually save yourself time, frustration, and potentially disastrous messaging or dating experiences if you’ve taken the time to read their profile from the get-go.” Otherwise, you might miss key details like: “In an open relationship. Wanna join us for some fun?” or “Just out of prison. Let’s do this!” There are a lot of attractive, but ultimately undateable, people out there.
So, what exactly are people looking for—or avoiding—when they swipe on your photo and bio? I spoke with 11 men to find out what instantly turns them off and makes them swipe left:
1. *Liam, 22:
“Women who post photos with their children. It sounds harsh, but it’s true. I’m here to hook up, not to take on a new family. “
2. *Jake, 21:
“If your description is just full of bible quotes, I immediately swipe left. Like come on.. you’re on Tinder.”
3. *Aaron, 25:
“Women who only post selfies. It seems really narcissistic.”
4. *Marcus, 20:
“Girls who post “moments” asking people to hang out or hit them up. It just feels so desperate.”
5. *Luke, 28:
“When their description is all about how much they love drinking coffee and writing poetry. They’re trying way too hard.”
6. *Mike, 21:
“Bathroom selfies.”
7. *Tyler, 20:
“When your profile photo is of you with like five other girls, I think you’re probably not that attractive and just trying to trick me.”
8. *Andrew, 28:
“When their description is all about how much they love to party and drink.”
9. Andrew, 30
“Women who mention they love brunch and spinning.”
10. *Christian, 23:
“Girls who write “420” in their description and post photos with their bongs.”
11. *Tommy, 26
“Women who seem high-maintenance.”
Have a bathroom selfie or mention you love brunch and spinning in your bio? Don’t sweat it, because the thing about non-negiotables in dating is that everyone has different ones — and they’re all subject to change.