Let’s be honest—sex is about as intimate as it gets. Private parts stop being private. Bodies literally intertwine. You learn things about your partner that even their best friends never will.
Sometimes it’s so strange and raw and beautiful, it kind of breaks your brain.
Of course, not all sexual experiences are created equal. Five-margaritas-deep spring break sex hits differently than a slow, sensual weekend getaway in Paris. One’s chaotic fun; the other’s dripping in intimacy.
And while geography plays its role, certain sex positions can seriously dial up that connection factor. According to licensed counselor and sex therapist Sarah Watson, “It varies for every couple. What makes you feel close? Eye contact? Touch? If it’s eye contact, then choose positions that allow for it.”
With that in mind, here are three positions to get you started—ones that can turn physical pleasure into emotional closeness:
1. Face to Face
Whether you’re lying chest-to-chest, riding in classic cowgirl, or sitting with legs intertwined, facing your partner forces a kind of raw vulnerability. You have to look at each other. And assuming you like what you see, that’s a powerful thing.
Eye contact during sex lets you see what’s turning your partner on and allows them to do the same. Facial expressions give away so much—what feels good, what feels incredible, what should maybe stop.
No need to wink every time something feels nice, but facing each other helps you sync up—physically and emotionally. Plus, kissing is way easier when your faces are close, and who doesn’t love a good make-out mid-thrust?
If full-on eye contact feels too intense, tweak the position so you’re still facing, but not locked in a stare. The point is to try something together that stretches comfort zones in a loving, shared way. That’s intimacy.
2. Spoon City
Spoon: a solid band, an elite ice cream tool—and a surprisingly intimate sex position.
Not everyone vibes with deep eye contact in bed. For some, touch and closeness are what create that spark. Spooning offers both. It’s cozy, connected, and allows for gentle caresses, back rubs, or playful squeezes mid-thrust.
Think of it as the emotionally available cousin of doggy style. Less primal, more cuddly. It’s a full-body hug plus penetration—what’s not to love?
And just because you’re the little spoon doesn’t mean you’re passive. Reach back, explore his body, or guide his hands. Spooning is all about mutual comfort and closeness.
3. The Position You Both Love
Forget what’s trendy or acrobatic. If missionary is your favorite, embrace it. If shower sex is your thing—go for it. What matters most is that you both enjoy it.
As Watson says, “If you want to feel closer to your partner, talk about what you enjoy in bed—and ask them what they enjoy. That conversation alone builds intimacy.”
Don’t know their favorite position? Ask. Maybe it’s something playful, or maybe it’s something adventurous with a hint of kink. Indulging a partner’s fantasy isn’t just hot—it’s generous, validating, and wildly connecting.
Ultimately, it’s not about perfecting positions or pulling off Olympic-level flexibility. It’s about creating a space where both of you feel safe, seen, and turned on.
Try spooning tonight. Or face each other and breathe in sync. Or revisit that go-to position that always gets you both there.
Whatever you do, remember: real closeness comes from vulnerability, communication, and prioritizing each other’s pleasure. That’s the good stuff.